Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Chemo Cycle 4: Days 1 & 2

Woo!  I am 2/3 of the way through, thank goodness!  I won't bother writing a separate blog about the end of cycle 3 as it was quite nice, Muse were fabulous and I had no major symptoms.  So I will start off with how yesterday went...

Day 1:  Saw the consultant who confirmed that my drugs were to be changing from FEC to something else (don't remember the name).  However, she said that if I hadn't been sick so far, these drugs were unlikely to chage that - if anything, they may be a bit better.  She also confirmed that I needed stitches removed in the Hickman line (yuck) and said that she would ensure that the day unit knew. 

Went through to the day unit and finally was shown through into the public area.  I mentioned about the stitches needing to be removed - bearing in mind they were in the chest area and I didn't fancy stripping in front of everyone - and they seemed surprised, even though I had heard the nurse talking to them!  Argh.  And to give an idea of how far away the two units are, I would estimate about 15 metres.  Double argh.  So I managed to get into a private room.  I was hooked up with no problems, told it would be about an hour and then the nurse said she would remove my stitches.  I panicked.  I don't know why though - I have had stitches removed before and know it doesn't hurt, but I did.  But the nurse was great and talked me down and tried as much as possible to relax me, and finally the stitches were removed.

And then I started feeling yuck. I couldn't concentrate on my oh so difficult Grazia and I couldn't play on my phone.  I felt sick but not sick (I know) and spinney*.  I was lying back, but felt like I was going to fall down.  I felt hot and cold.  It was awful.  I was literally counting down the minutes until it was over.  They then flushed me out and I felt a tiny bit better but ugh it was horrible.  DH took me home after we had to faff about for my next appointment and I went straight to bed.

Day 2:  Woke up feeling more refreshed but still tired.  My mum is here, so she took DD1 to school and DH took DD2 to nursery, so we had quite a relaxing morning.  Until I looked at my drugs and realised that one was missing.  So I phoned up the day unit who said 'oh yes, here it is in our fridge.'  Another argh.  So when DH came home early to take me to the radiotherapist, we had to first go to the main hospital to collect those drugs.  So about 40 mins to get those and then say, 25 to get back to the local hospital in time for my radiotherapy appointment.

And yes, I am going to need 5 weeks of radiotherapy, starting the end of November.  They will give me 3-4 weeks after the last chemo to recover and then I start that, every week day.  And yes, that means I will be having to go in over the Christmas holidays, although I was told Christmas day is a Saturday so I won't have to actually go in that day (not that I think I would whatever day it happened to fall on, but you never know) thank goodness.  PITA.

I'm not sure what to do about work though, as apparently you don't really get many symptoms from radiotherapy apart from tiredness.  (My friend pointed out though, if I am going to have to do that blooming drive every day, of course I will be tired!)  So I think I will see how I feel and take it from there.

Boo hiss to cancer.

*spinney in my world - how one feels when the world is spinning around, similar to dizzy.  It is not a bushy copse.

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Chemo cycle 3: Days 12 - 16

These last few days have been brilliant.  I have felt normal and have been able to get on with (most of) my life, thank goodness.  The only weirdness is that my eyes have been dry and itchy over the last day or two - which happened last cycle as well.  I do have some eye drops for that now though, so that's good.

I am not really looking forward to next week though.  I have blood tests Monday, chemo on Tuesday and then an appointment with the radiotherapist on Wednesday to discuss whether or not I will need that as well.  Fingers crossed I won't, but a lot of people have said that they often do it now as a preventative measure so I guess there is a large chance I may.  *Sigh*  That would make an additional 3-6 weeks of treatment possibly.

However, I am not going to worry about that now and quite frankly, I should not worry at all as there is nothing I can do to change what will be.  I will go with whatever they recommend.  I am going to enjoy the rest of this week and the weekend, when I will be seeing Muse at Wembley.  Yay!  So super excited!

Friday, 3 September 2010

Chemo cycle 3: Day 10 & 11

Day 10: first day back to school for DD1!  We all took her in as a family, to meet her teacher and figure out where things were.  I then had a nice time at home doing some chores and resting before picking her up.  I do wonder if the other parents wonder why I am wearing a headscarf but who cares really?  I suppose if they are that bothered they can always talk to me....

I was pretty exhausted in the evening though; I went to bed at 9!  Guess laundry takes it out of me somewhat.  Lolz etc.

Day 11 (today):  Took DD1 in, had a lovely time at home and collected her.  She helped me bake a cake for a friend too which was nice - looking forward to celebrating his birthday tomorrow!  Tonight I plan to drink wine and watch Big Brother and other trash tv.

So all in all, things are on the up.  I am starting to feel more human and normal and can have a nice week and a half before the next round, hopefully.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Chemo cycle 3: Day 8 & 9

Day 8 was the worst.  I felt awful and it's indescribable.  A friend of mine who survived breast cancer said she described it as a bad flu, but even that doesn't cover it.  I was exhausted and more.  I felt like I was in a fog, that I was going to faint even when lying down and even a bit sick but not queasy.  See what I mean?  I can't really explain.  But basically, it's horrible.  Both girls were home, and even with DH working at home to help, it was still very difficult.

Day 9 I could feel I was starting to come out of it, but I still felt pretty rubbish.  I was home with DD1 all day and she kept me company and was lovely, so it was a nice day even though I felt so bad.  By the evening, I had enough energy to go to a friend's house to get the girls' hair cut - majorly overdue and urgent with school just about to start again!  Had a terrible night's sleep though.  The hot flushes really don't help.